HOME

“Do what moves you and connects you to the deepest truth of yourself. Trust prosperity and passion over profit and comfort and the approval of others, because all the approval in the world is empty if it is for something your heart was never really in.“ Jeff Foster

Here is my confession: Looking back the whole last year what I remember mostly, was my deep yearning for home.

“I just wanna go home…” was the thought I had throughout, the words I said constantly but I wouldn’t know where that was.

I did have a plan on my mind and even fulfilling this didn’t make me feel at home at all. How was that possible?

I had a plan about where to settle down, what job to do and who to spend my love life with.

I tried to find myself with things my ‘life-frame’ had to offer. ‘Life-frame’, I use this word as a metaphor, as I think every lifestyle brings things with it. Possibilities it has to offer, like a certain picture. The pictures (lifestyles) are different and so are the boundaries (frames) and within these boundaries of the lifestyle I had chosen this year I tried to find a home.

But it didn’t work.

I started feeling very tired, I was tense and although I woke up every morning with a smile and ready to challenge the day, I couldn’t escape the fact that after a while I started to feel numb and extremely bored.

By the end of this year I felt half dead and wasn’t even really aware of this.

When the whole breakdown came and life hit me with its last resort, blasting me off my feet and bulldozing me with agony, I couldn’t escape but to face the truth:

I WASN’T HAPPY

And I would have never been with the lifestyle I had chosen to live.

I would have never felt at home, no matter how big the house would be we lived in, or how much money I made with the job I had lined up.

No car, no new jacket and no new bike would have made me feel home.

So, what was home? How could I reach it?

I found it, where I didn’t expect to find it at all.

It was right here, with me, all the time!

Home is in my heart and has been there all the time!

And to feel at home means to touch my heart!

To touch my heart means to do things I love! To fill my days with things that are and awaken my passion – make my eyes shine from deep within.

Passion is not collecting big cars, having a new Van or getting the latest fashion clothes. These are only things that create fear as we know they don’t live long and new cars will be out next year, so will be new fashion!

I was very lost for a long time, trying to find a place to call home, but what is a place without all the things that touch my heart?

Without that, it’s just a place… or a prison we build around our dreams – unaware they’re not that far away at all. It just takes some courage to let go.

Breaking out of the known is terrifying but I know it’s worth the risk as I have been there before.

It took me some time to remember what touches me. I had been away from home, from my heart, way too long and the way back home is rocky.

I know I just need to follow the sun, the endless beaches, the blue ocean, its glossy waves and the smell of surf wax, fresh coffee and the laughter of spirited and like-minded people.

It’s where I can do what I love, what my heart needs to express itself.

Where I can write and draw, where creativity awakes and where I am alive!

The idea 1 year ago was: Swapping that freedom for a life of security.

Now, 12 months later I have to admit, it was the most stupid idea in the world J

This time, I will swap a life full of so-called ‘security’ (working in a 9-5 job, becoming a weekend or holiday surfer, chasing a socially accepted career and dealing with the fear of losing all hard earned money) for a life what most people would call a life of ‘insecurity’. But within this ‘insecurity’ I find a security that nothing in this world can shatter.

There is nothing better than being yourself and doing things that touch your heart every day. It’s your rock, its something that takes fear, and fear is the price we pay for living the so-called life of ‘security’.

(By the way, everyone who does water sports knows that there is no way to become a weekend surfer, as nature’s got its own way and only every now and then blesses us with good conditions on our days off…its more like becoming a 3-weeks-off-1-day-on-4-weeks-off-snow-rain-winddead-for-another-2-weeks-but-by-then-ran-out-of-money-surfer)

I am going back into the water. I am going back into the sun, to the beach and going back into the waves.

One has to be happy! Truly happy and true happiness can only reside where we do things we love.

HOME IS WHERE WE CAN BE HAPPY BY DOING WHAT WE LOVE!!!!

LISTEN TO YOUR HEARTS, LIVE YOUR DREAMS, FOLLOW YOUR PASSIONS AND MOST OF ALL, CONQUER YOUR FEARS!

IF YOU SCARED OF SOMETHING – DO IT ANYWAYS :D

WE CANNOT BUILD FENCES AROUND OUR LIVES AND WE ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE!

LET GO- LIVE – LOVE – LAUGH – (and surf, hehe)