GRIEF STAGE 7

ACCEPTANCE & HOPE

EVERY LOSS IS DEATH, AND AFTER DEATH THERE WILL BE REBIRTH

Finally, floating through the last stage of Grief I have to realise, that Grief in the End, if we let it happen to us naturally, is more like waking up from a misperception. Its like waking up from a dream into reality, losing nothing but gaining everything. It’s a process of transition, where I realised that what I claimed to be reality was just an idea about reality and therefore with the “loss’ of that idea, I finally could see that there is nothing I can loose because there is nothing I actually ever owned.

Now I have come to see the predicament of my last whole year as an opportunity to learn more about myself, to grow and transform - in essence, to see this period in my life as one of transition.

Having developed the ability to see the pain as an experience, I came to the conclusion that:

Ruin is a gift!

Letting the ‘loss’ and pain transform I was able to see another truth behind the ‘loss’ and seeing that, awkwardly, a ‘loss’ doesn’t feel like a loss but rather than a gain, which turns all the pain, all the turmoil and desperation I had felt into a blessing.

The ‘loss’ was inevitable and merely illustrating my true beliefs, my driving forces and myself.

It illustrated a reality, which I was not able to see and not just concerning the whole last year but also things that I actually had slightly been carrying throughout my whole life with me.

The whole last year I tried to infiltrate my spirits, beliefs and my wisdom with a bad, destructive system! And this in a very violent way and it’s all only my entire fault! The crisis and predicament I had found myself in 3 months ago was bound to happen exactly the way it did!

And now I had to learn the hard way that I need to stand up for my own feelings and needs in order to be happy again. I have to care for myself without trying to adapt and make others happy in exchange of my own happiness.

Now, after all these stages, I feel more confident in saying NO whenever something doesn’t feel right for me – I check this with EVERYTHING I do now. I check if it feels right for ME, or just for someone else and I BELIEVE in MY feeling and experience, rather than questioning my judgements and myself.

To care for myself and say YES to myself sometimes means NO for someone else and seeing that this isn’t a bad thing is an awareness that’s completing the whole transition - something I had been missing in order to develop my character.

I lost old belief which where never truthfully working FOR me, old misperceptions about love and I also lost the weakness of saying YES to everything, although knowing that it would me neglecting myself.

What I gained?

I found out who really are good friends and who aren’t. I can now say YES to myself and concentrate on my own happiness without any guilt towards others, which is leading me successfully into the direction of my dreams and experiencing life as even more worthy and more beautiful.

In the last stage, I ended up saying good-bye to the old me. I will never be the same as before but it doesn’t mean I am not myself.

Never being the same again feels like a good thing!