Currently I got
confronted with people who are unhappy with their life situation and
complaining about this place.
They are saying, the
place they used to live in was better, the food was better, the chicken out
here tastes shit, everyone is just drinking all day and the weather is
absolutely inappropriate. They don’t have this and this, and the whole time
they got to that and that. I cant even remember what it all was they haven’t
got because I had to switch off half way through the complaint list as it
started to drag me down.
Now, in this situation
afterwards I realised, there is a few different things about this place here
and their issue.
1stly, this place is
very remote, and this kind of remoteness brings up things inside of us we
sometimes don’t really like to face. If we don’t have distractions like
parties, shopping, TV or concerts, we are made to think a lot and are
confronted with our partners, and ourselves, and it can be quite upsetting to
find out, that what we thought what is, is not what it is in reality.
2ndly, there is a lot
of comparison they are doing. They constantly compare this place to other places.
You cannot do that, as each place in this world is different, same, as one
cannot compare apples and pears. Apples will never taste like pears, but it
doesn’t mean we cannot like and eat both, right? When we compare, we usually
concentrate on the loss, rather than on the gain, as there can only be loss.
They ARE NOT THE SAME!
And here comes the
third thing in place.
A lot of people don’t
realise, that it is only and always up to them and not other people or a place
itself to make something of their lives and their happiness.
How is a place
supposed to make one happy? Its just a place, it cannot go off and think: “Oh
cool, let me think what great I can do for Mr and Mrs Pumpernickle today!”,
right?
To get to know a place
or even people really doesn’t mean to see something with our eyes only, to
compare or to judge things.
It means, to ‘experience’
something and to truly ‘experience’ something means to open up all our senses
fully, without expectations, without perceptions and with no judgement. It
means to just watch, take it all in and see what it has to offer, instead of
finding out what it is missing by comparing and judging.
I hear them
complaining about the weather.
“It’s so cooooold out
here, and then the snow!”
Well, we are in the
middle of Scotland in the middle of the winter. Honestly, why would one expect
20 degrees and sunshine?
Some of my friends go
snowboarding to the 3 Valleys over Christmas and I am pretty sure they don’t
take their windsurfing kit, just in case of a great meltdown!
On the other hand, people
out here tell me they love snowboarding but why do they not go then?
“We don’t know any
people!” they say.
Well, congratulations
to that. What are they waiting for? One of the guys in Cairngorm National Park
(which is only 1h drive from here!) has a nightly supernatural experience thinking:
“Wow, I think there are some people in Aboyne that would love to go
snowboarding, I might as well just pack my things, drive over to find them and
invite them!”
Honestly, life doesn’t
work that way and we have to realise, it’s never the place, never the people
and not the weather!
It’s inside of us and it’s
always up to us to make something of it. It’s about changing our point of view
and to allow the place we chose to live to be enjoyable to us. To find the good
things it has to offer! To learn to enjoy something we haven’t done or known
before.
Even though I am a
sunshine and beach person I still can enjoy the snow. I can enjoy both,
although I have preferences!
But I couldn’t come
around to think: ‘If it’s all down to us, what is holding us back to open up
and let things in, to accept and experience new things?
Someone once told me,
there are only 2 emotions in life: FEAR and LOVE.
“Anything, that isn’t
based on LOVE, has its roots in FEAR!”
So I am wondering, is
it the fact we have to let go of our perceptions about a place, let go of a
habit, let go of a place we have left…is the ‘letting go’ causing us FEAR?
Are we scared to let
go of things, as we think with ‘letting go’ something inside of us will
diminish?
But if this was the
reason why we are scared to ‘let go’, then we are caught in a misperception as:
1stly: we never ever
own anything, so we cannot loose anything (I cant remember I ever owned a place
called Oldenburg in Germany)
2ndly: we had to let
go of habits and perceptions we had when we were a child…. And this didn’t do
us any harm either, right?
Or is anyone out there
still thinking that our parents are unfailing and that brown cows give hot
chocolate?
We gain by letting go
what we don’t own anyways!
It sounds weird, but
for some reason, on this very rainy Sunday morning, this sentence makes sense
to me… and to my lovely hot chocolate I am having just now in the coffee shop.
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