1 YEAR

It’s been 9 months now since I’m back home and it took me 1 entire year to actually heal.

A lot of things happened that whole year, but what I mostly want to communicate with you today is that silver lining I found at the end of the complete process.

Life is strange and sometimes things happen that make no sense to us.

Doors we meant to open remain shut, boulders stay unmovable obstacles on our path to success and people we trusted to be friends let us down or betray us.

Sometimes, circumstances that hit us in life leave us with nothing and we see our dreams perish into a black hole.

My darkest moment nearly 1 year ago took me to Scotland, a place that turned out to be one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

And the beauty of that place went hand in hand with the magnificent people I got to meet there.

Spirited people (and here I don’t mean religious but close to their hearts!) who with their patience and kindness offered me the exceptional opportunity to take part in something bigger – working with the horses at Horseback.

And when it finally was time for me to leave and head back home, I was taking something with me.

I had learned to push through dark days. I had learned to sit patiently with the unsolved because I KNEW that any interference would have ended in even more confusion and disaster.

The greatest skill I’ve come to obtain was the precious attitude of:

ONE STEP AT A TIME

Finally, back at home on my lovely island I was ready and eager to grab my life back by the horns.

I wanted to concentrate on 2 of the most important things for me in my life.

All I wanted to do was going back into surfing and windsurfing, which I needed in order to heal my soul and to open my mind.

And 2^nd, I just wanted to work in order to stabilise my financial situation.

But again, what I THOUGHT will happen didn’t work out the way I planned it to do.

I had to face another financial crisis where I had to learn again to sit and wait patiently, whilst my surfing went haywire due to my shoulder injury.

With surfing (my only and biggest passion) gone and not much financial cushion I at first felt like falling from 80% in life down to 3%.

I was devastated, I had to learn what it means to let go of a passion, but only through that I was given a gift.

I had no chance but to open my eyes to all the beauty that surrounded me.

Not being able to go surfing made me miserable but it opened a whole new world to me.

That loss got me into snorkelling and free diving and I discovered a whole new world.

Knowing what happens on top of the water always moved me, but seeing what’s beyond…I would have never seen a real ray floating across the ocean ground, never touched a turtle and never at all realised how peaceful and in-tune the world underwater was, whilst waves and wind were crossing the surface.

And the little shifts at work made me realise that even without money one can enjoy life…Nature became my playground, whilst I skipped bars and boat-trips.

I had spent nearly 2 years away from home and I also realised that I had changed.

My character, my beliefs and my view on life, and my view on friends and people had changed, too.

Now back home, people I used to fit in with I didn’t feel comfortable around anymore, whilst others moved closer.

I had to learn to say NO to people and a lifestyle that didn’t fit anymore – here again I met an ability I didn’t posses 2 years ago and which default had led me into the disaster last year.

I had thought that the darkest crisis I had met last year was the hardest one, but in reality, that had only been the start.

What I learned throughout this year was how important it is to care for myself. How important it is to still be open and not to shut my heart and mind down to things only in fear to get hurt again.

How important it is to say YES to myself, although it sometimes might mean to say NO to others.

How important it is to let go, not just of people and a lifestyle that don’t suit anymore…but also to let go of old beliefs, which formed the basement of my self-view and my character.

I had to let an old Self go – but everything I lost had been replaced by some stronger and wiser things.

What I find now is more calming and safe than my life was before… I had found another part of the true ME; cleared out and replaced some old, run-down furniture.

Knowing pieces of your true self is the realest strength we can obtain in life.

It’s a power from within and I think this is why they say:

“What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger!”

I wish everyone a great start into the week and maybe you find some time to reflect on all the disaster you’ve overcome in your life so far and have a little break-down on how they made you stronger…made you more REAL.

PS: Oh, and don’t forget to love yourself :D