CALIMA STRIKES

Dear people of Medano.

No, this is not the apocalypse, it’s just a heat wave and YES, that is why I had been making you a coffee although you’ve ordered a Coke.

The air is dry, not a slight breeze is moving the surface of the sea and the air is dense.

It’s hard to breathe, the dense heat is hanging like a cheese bowl above my head and the air pressure gives me the feeling that my beautiful mind is about to explode.

Calima it is called, and as a weather condition a remnant from Sahara sandstorms, that get driven over the whole Canary Islands by south easterly winds, covering everything with sand and dust, whilst visibility is limited like on a foggy day in London.

The intensely dry, dust-laden heat reaches temperatures from 35-45 C, generally takes 1 week and used to occur 3-4 times a year (nowadays its usually 8 times a year!).

Apart from the fact that there is no wind, which makes the wind- and kitesurfer very miserable, it also has various effects on the human body, mostly involved with Dehydration, headaches due to high air-pressure, the fine sand particles are entering the lungs, and cause short breath, a lot of people catch a bad cough and mucous membranes become irritated, which in worst case, can lead to nosebleed.

So here I got a little walkthrough through on how to survive 1 week of Calima in the sanest manner without becoming ill.

First of all: DON’T RESIST!!!!

Just surrender to the heat, accept it as it is, because the more you and your mind go against it, the worse it gets!

Surrender to the heat and accept everything that comes with it, then you will be bit more relaxed about the rest of it.

Keep your system running.

The heat gets the system down, vasodilatation leads to low blood pressure and can cause dizziness and severe fatigue.

To activate your system, do easy sports (I am pronouncing the word EASY here!) I sometimes see people running during the day and then ending up collapsing! 45 degrees with fine sand particles in the air is NOT an invitation for a marathon!!!

45 degrees is a reason to get up early and go for a swim in the refreshing cool sea before the sun is up or for a short but relaxed run.

Yoga in the evening helps calming down and so does a swim after work.

Actually, anytime you can spend in the water is best, even if you’re just doing the "SUP-chiringuito-challenge"!

Go snorkelling and free diving, the sea is calm and the water is clear, so just shoot off and enjoy the underwater world, instead of trying to run through the city in order to get the shopping done.

DRINK! Is the magic rule.

“GOSH! I could do with a big, cold shandy!!!” Jejeje, I know, the force is strong with this one! But remember, young padawan, forget you must what you have learned…because alcohol is actually the worst you can do at the moment.

To maintain the little force you got within you, refrain from alcohol, as it dehydrates you and you loose important salt your body needs.

Furthermore, you will be waking up next morning with your eyeballs the size of a raisin and your tear sacs will be dangling down to your knees.

Food

Cucumber soup, fresh salads and homemade chilled Gazpacho do the job very well and whilst hydrating you they refill your energy and electrolyte level.

I love popsicles, homemade with lemon, watermelon or pinapple. They’re the easiest way to get quick refreshment, same as iced Yoghurt-Lassi in any kind of way.

An average intake of at least 2-3L of fluid should be on the list, preferably unsugared teas and water.

Yeah, I know, water is pretty boring, it does the job tho, and to pop it up a bit, I add some fresh mint leaves and ginger, fresh lemon or pieces of a fresh orange to it… not that boring anymore, right?

Last but not least just a quick guide on behavioural attitudes during Calima:

1^st:

Stop complaining about the heat! Your complaint doesn’t make the temperature drop, neither are your common fellows stupid. They KNOW its hot.

2^nd:

Do not under any circumstances go into a bar and order random stuff that’s not on the menu, like strawberry cake and a chorizo baguette!

3^rd:

Speaking of the menu, please relax and take time to read the menu instead of asking the waitress or waiter to rattle down the whole menu… you’re sweating, not blind…furthermore, tongues and concentration are at limit, and energy on speech and thought process have to be used sparely, so keep it easy,

4^th:

I know the predicament you finding yourself in, we are all sweating our arses off and you might have a great character, but please put a t-shirt over the glassy beer belly and shorts that cover your speedos when entering a bar. This keeps people standing next to you dry and their eyesight at peace. Obviously, if you’re Paul Walker, don’t under any circumstances, put a shirt on and PLEASE wear speedos!

5^th:

Please drink and eat whatever you getting served in the restaurant, even tho it’s not even close to what you have ordered. The brain of a waitress/waiter works only on its last leg and readjusting your order will be either out of consideration or will take another hour to be completed

6^th:

And NO, you cannot take the whole table and 6 chairs down to the beach in front of the sea!

My favourite tip for hot Calima nights?

Jumping off the harbour wall with all your friends naked…no one can sleep anyways with bedroom temperature above 40C and as hot as a sauna. So why not spending time awake having fun, instead of rolling from one side to the other and trying to enter dreamland forcefully?