CHANGES

Changes                                                                                   

A new year has started and again, on New Years Eve thousands of voices sounded loud about what they wanted to change throughout the year that’s lying ahead of us.

I always found changes are good.

I found, changes are necessary in order to grow and become a better human.

But…changes cause a lot of pain and trouble, too and although they have to happen, we are scared to do so.

Changes happen everyday. In Nature, without changes nothing would spring from a little sprout. A desert would be lifeless if animals and plants hadn’t found a way to change in order to survive there.

Changes happen everyday, although it is not always visible for our eyes.

They happen, whether we want to or not, and the ability to control this is beyond our possibilities.

Changes have to happen, for when nothing is changing, that state would be called DEATH.

Living in death is hell,

But, changing feels like hell, too.; just a different hell.

So why is it so hard for us to change? Why do we rather refrain from changing and accept the suffering we feel when everything passes by, than deciding to let things go?

First we find ourselves in a set up world.

We are with people who fit, do a job that seems to make fun and go out with a person we think it could be THE ONE.

But things change. Like in nature nothing remains the same and so we don’t either.

And then, out of a sudden, something inside of us changes.

No idea the trigger, but it does.

First we ignore it, try to pretend and get the old personality back.

But it doesn’t work that well, so problems start arising.

And there we find ourselves, finding the job we are doing isn’t the right one anymore for it doesn’t fit to our ideals and our new found abilities.

Neither do the friends, for the common things disappeared.

And what about the ONE!?

Suddenly we act different, find things important we didn’t before and fights become normal. So do doubts, mistakes and misunderstanding…

We find ourselves at the end of a certain period and most of the things we believed in, and the things we had set up for our life don’t matter anymore. The importance shifted, so we know we have to let go.

We need to let the friends go, for there is no need to meet the ones who don’t share what’s now become important to us.

We quit the job, maybe decide to go into a new direction and study again in order to become, what we find important now and what fits to our new ideals.

We let THE ONE go, too. For we changed into a different direction and THE ONE cannot be a part of our new path.

It cannot join us, for it would slow us down or would even block us.

When found new friends and a new job, so finally we find a new ONE.

And change does happen again!

When changes happen, they might make us stronger, but…. Giving up again, and again what we were fighting for is sooooo hard!

Some say, not the goal is important, it’s the way itself that matters the most.

But I was wondering if there was a way that things could change with us…?

Why do we have to leave the ONE we love for example? Or find new friends, which is sooo hard?

Right now I am standing at that point again, and I get the feeling, that it is rather the letting go of an idea or belief that makes changes so frightening, than the changes we cause in the outer world.

From my whole life on I had to go through so many changes and I feel so tired of it.

My heart doesn’t want to attach to anything anymore, for it knows that loosing it would cause a lot of pain. And what to find after the change would end up in pain again.

Some say, we shouldn’t attach but how the hell should we fight for something without finding something worthy? To find something worthy does mean it is important to us and as soon as something is important to us we are attached to it.

I have to let go and give in to the changes that happened inside of myself and around me.

And here comes the fear and I meanwhile think, that is simply fear that keeps us from changing and growing.

While the change is in progress we might not realise it, but as soon as the changing progress is finished we find ourselves in a state of destruction.

It is a process of elimination, which leaves us in uncertainty.
Uncertainty, for a lot of things we believed in doesn’t make sense anymore. Inner world (the world of our ideas about things) and Outer world don’t fit; they don’t match.

We feel lost with this uncertainty, which creates a big amount of fear.

We found out that the world as it is does not respond to our belief of the world anymore. So what we find out is, that we cannot control anything.

It is important to accept that certain kind of uncertainty.

It starts when we are born. We are no longer confined within secure limits, and instead a limitless world stretches around us. This uncertainty is frightening, but it is also necessary.

We cannot feel ourselves unless we adapt and start to acquaint ourselves a new, and through our lives we cannot change anything about ourselves unless we go through a period of uncertainty.

Overcoming the fear of uncertainty and embracing it as a necessary issue in order to become a human seems to be a more important goal, rather than having a car, a child and a house set up and guarding it from every kind of movement.

“Fear about something arises from ones idea about it, which is mostly not necessarily the truth. The idea itself is more of a dimensional magic, rather than of the truth!” (Dorothy Rowe)

So let us check our idea about changes itself and confront us with the fear of uncertainty!

Let us accept it as a part of us that will always be there, as it is inside of every human being and step forward into the exciting adventures life has to offer us J

HAPPY NEW YEAR