FOR or AGAINST all odds?

I currently have thought about fighting a lot.

For some reason, looking back my whole last year now looks like it’s been a battlefield.

Not from the outside, it’s all clean and smooth but rather from the inside.

From inside of me.

And there I am, sitting in a lovely coffee shop; snow is falling outside in big soft flakes and I am wondering, what is fighting actually all about?

Have I been fighting for my dreams?

Have I been fighting for my needs?

And there comes the strangest conclusion I have come to in a loooong time.

Could it be I haven’t been fighting FOR but rather fighting AGAINST something?

Yeah, you should just wait a second and let that sink it, coz I tell you, we are talking about two different pair of shoes here.

To fight FOR something is different to fighting AGAINST something!

It’s about the point of view, the way we are looking at things and this shifts all our energy at every moment.

I tell you what I mean.

Think of something that you would like to do or you would like to have.

Let’s say, you would soooo love to have a new computer. Your old laptop is pretty crap and takes aeons to upload a picture and the system is crashing all the time. It annoys you, so you would soooo much love to have a new one.

Now, you don’t earn that much so you have to save up for the better computer for another 3 months.

Now, just take a second and think about two things and compare the feelings that arouse inside of you.

The first thing I want you to think of is: FOR a new computer!

Can you picture what the new computer looks like? You might have a model already in your mind, which you like. Focus on that and say to yourself: FOR this computer!

FOR this computer!

See how that feels?

Now, try to focus on your shitty computer and all the struggles you have with it.

And then you say: AGAINST this computer!

AGAINST you! AGAINST!

Do you realise the difference of emotions it is creating inside of you?

To me, it does make perfect sense at the moment, because its one of the main things I have been doing wrong the whole last year.

I have been fighting against everything I DIDN’T want, rather than focusing on WHAT I wanted!

And for some reason, I don’t know why, I ended up having all I DIDN’T want! All I have been fighting AGAINST!

Isn’t that crazy? Now I realise, that fighting FOR something creates a very powerful energy and motivation inside of me, underlined by creativity and freedom of fear.

Fighting AGAINST something creates emotions of frustration, fear and a subtle hint of angry tension. This would have never gotten me anywhere near where I wanted to be!

What I was focusing on was, that I DIDN’T want to live in Leeds. I DIDN’T want a 9-5 job! I DIDN’T want the socialisations in PUBs and I also DIDN’T want to live where it’s cold and where I CANNOT go surfing or windsurfing every day.

To find out WHAT I want rather than focusing on what I DON’T want is not an easy task, as most of us haven’t been brought up this way.

But sure, we can learn it and all it takes is just a little self-love, compassion, patience and practise.

I mean, no one ever has learned how to swim just by listening to our trainers’ words, right?

“Gotta jump in and practise,” my trainer told me in the summer camp when I was 8 years old.

So I did…and I won the gold medal in the competition!