ALIKE ATTRACTS ALIKE

I couldn’t come round noticing, that recently a lot of people including myself are confused about love and relationships.

The most questions we ask is:

WHY THE HECK ARE WE ALWAYS WITH THE WRONG ONE!!??

Or

WHY THE HECK IS IT ALWAYS THE WRONG ONES THAT WANT TO BE WITH US, BUT THE ONES WE SEEK DON’T APPEAR???

Now, I have a random thinking here. I have a theory, which I am trying to write down as I am thinking it.

I am kind of thinking it onto the paper, but my random parallelism seems to be based on:

Like Attracts Like

It took me a while to find out how and why I am attracting certain kind of people, in this case talking about men in my relationships.

Now, something that all men I usually go out with have in common isn’t their colour of hair, their culture background, their jobs or their career in life.

It is their mental state.

All men I was in a relationship with tended to be so-called ‘cool’ men.

Men who were kind of frigid, wouldn’t talk about feelings, mostly didn’t even have access to their emotions and weren’t very warm-hearted.

With me thinking I was the opposite, I tried to convert them. I tried to change them, I put up fights and discussions in order to make them open up to me. To make them talk about their feelings and make them realise what kind of emotional state they’re in, myself claiming to be someone like that.

I tried to make them soft but I kept failing and finally ended up splitting up with them, thinking we’re too different. So I THOUGHT.

But now looking back, I must admit that this wasn’t correct.

Because, every time I DID manage to crack their wall down and they opened up, I would find myself confused and in a conflict. And would put up an even bigger fight…which did put a wall between us again!

Whenever they turned into being soft-hearted and opened up, I turned into defensive mode and put a wall back up, unaware of that. And whilst they opened up I kept ravaging about it without seeing that they actually already ARE soft and open. Then, what happened was that they were even more confused, because they were doing what I demanded and still it wasn’t right. They had no clue of what I had wanted; neither did I have ANY clue about what I was actually doing.

So in the end, I was actually the SAME!!! I chose ‘cool’ men, who were scared of intimacy because I was like that, too and every time intimacy was created from their side, I ended up putting the walls back up!

The perception of who I am and my actual behaviour weren’t congruent and I wonder how many of us actually do this.

How many of us actually wonder about why they always attract a certain kind of partner, thinking that they don’t fit but actually being the same as what they attract?

Maybe, we have to think again, think back and be more honest with ourselves?

So, maybe…

Maybe the reason why we are with someone very rational is because actually we are a very rational person ourselves, although we keep claiming that we are heart-driven and intuitive.

 And even when we decide not to be with rational people anymore, we still stay in contact and connected with them without realising that we might have more in common than we think.

And that maybe that’s the reason why we kind of need them.

And maybe, that’s why we are confused about life and love when we suddenly meet warm-hearted people who are soft, fearless and intuitive, instead of rational, calculated and insecure.

It might be, that when we are with the opposite, we turn into rational people ourselves…because maybe, that’s just what we are really…only, we didn’t know.

But now that we know, maybe we can accept being someone rational and realise, that like attracts like and that this revelation can point us towards the right one…to someone who is alike instead of trying to be someone we are not.

And that to attract what we WANT to be connected with, we at first have to BECOME it!

So far the theory I just wrote down and I feel very successful here with this, but staring at my dog (who is staring back) he kind of found very confusing words for the end of this quick thought:

“Like might attract like, oil doesn’t mix with water, but honestly, Mali, you use both together to make that salad sauce, which tastes soooo amazing every time I steal some!”

Maybe…the dog is right?

Like attracts like but opposites might also complement each other and turn something very boring ( and I can’t think of anything more boring for a dog than salad!) into something fruitful and delicious!

So, there might not even be a right or wrong.

Maybe…both are right?

So, people, why not just have fun and try out what you prefer?

:D